**How is it…

…that the government can strap up and prepare citizens with guns and battle tactics to engage in murder defense, but when other gangs citizens organize on their own to do the same thing, the government wants to stop them, jail them, and criticize their behavior and goals? Is this rational? Is hypocrisy just some sort of intellectual evolutionary hump our species needs to get over, because if it is, it seems that hypocrisy will become more ingrained in human life in the future.

Does anyone question life or think critically? You know, the average citizen. I don’t think so, but back to the government. How is it that politicians have a steak in giving people breaks from taxes, but not breaks from hard work standards?

Is play only for babies and little kids? Does working all your life make you happy? If it doesn’t why do it?

Are we all weak and scared? Probably. Reminds me of something I saw today while waiting by the scene of my dad’s car accident. A girl was walking when three girls walked behind her and mocked her. She immediately got angry and they all started cursing and coming close to fighting. The two girls held back the friend who I think started the taunting. After a while of inching closer and then farther away from one another, the police came near and then the accordion chaos broke away. At first I thought, “Wow, people are so stupid these days.” However I decided to look critically into why it may have happened. The area we were waiting in is low income, with a lot of poverty and low access to quality education, or even nicely paved roads. If I, as a somewhat in the balance middle class citizen, experience so much stress and anger, imagine their situations. I’d say 95% of the people on this planet do not know how to manage, let alone understand or examine their emotions. So emotions (fear) of one thing can boil over into your conscious experiences.

Maybe they have it rough and needed to vent in this unhealthy way. In the end both parties were scared and stressed out. If we got to the core of their feelings we would find that they have inner turmoil that is spilling out into daily life.

I’m scared too, so while I look for understanding of education, I vent. But I also examine. Why are people this way? Does this make sense? Why do I care? And most times, despite my venting and inner turmoil that I don’t understand, when I try to calm down and see the other side, I come across these inconsistencies that I can’t ignore. Why would the government hate street gangs and terrorists when we have the military? What does defense really mean when you are actually sending people to someone else’s home to kill and destroy them? Why does reason not work?

We’re not rational, as much as we try to be with our rules, ideologies, and economies. We’re scared and irrational.

Should I just accept this, do what I’m told to avoid problems? Should I just pursue my art goals, paint, draw, meet people and have as many bright days as I can as the clock ticks closer to my expiration?

Could fear of death and loss be the reason we act so savagely?

**08/07/2010: Jeanstake articulates much of what I feel:


Posted on July 21, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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