Failing to Succeed
Another reason why I fail is that I fail to see when I succeed. I am making SOME progress. I wonder why I do that. I suppose I am so used to seeing the negatives, and the worse in every situation.
At a meeting for the community organizing collective I am with, I was able to acknowledge my failure, and other people’s failure. It was nerve wrecking, and have way through the meeting in my mind I said, “I’m done.” However I sat there, because 50%-90% of the dramatic things I think never come out. I stayed and then I realized that no one was perfect in this endeavor. Some people had been missing the whole summer, and there was a lack of support to the extreme. I even stated my distrust that “all the new faces would ever be seen again.” I am sure that offended people. I was so upset, having tried (and failed) the whole summer with only 6 other people.
Anyway, I just note, that my failure, and everyone else’s was very valuable. I have learned and gained experience in how grass roots organizations work. It’s a valuable perspective.
So I fail to see my success. I was involved in starting a community organization! Although I am only a member blogger at democraticeducation.org, I am INDEED involved with alternative education, just as I planned to be! With music, I catch on fast. With art, well…I am still scared, but I have signed up to take art and music classes at my college – I’ll just force myself out of it I suppose. There are good things about me – I just need to pay attention, rather than hardening up all the time!